未老先衰
(not old but already in decline)

Lately, I haven't been sleeping very well, which means dozing off in class (which NEVER happened in the first weeks) and having a hard time concentrating when I'm awake. They started some construction/repair at the school, and I can still hear the workers talking and working past 12 midnight, which means even less sleep. Today my classmate found my first white hair...I think that's a bad sign. Good thing fall break is this weekend. Hopefully I'll manage to stay sane and in one piece (my body is feeling about as frayed as my 精神 vitality). Meanwhile I'll try to fend off further white hair by amusing myself with wacky conversations ^^ (see below).

~ the "broken" one
(now also old...-_-)

What I miss most...

m: and actually i should go to class now
=x
so....as much as i'm excited to actually see you online
i'm going to have to run off on you
:J: Boo
m: but love you bunches
and miss seeing you
J: Classes aren't that important
not compared to me
m: haha
J: you should know this
m: yes yes
you are right
J: they aren't teaching you the right things in China
fine
go learn things
m: but if i have too many absences i fail
J: But the most important lesson is
Jessica Rules
J: okay, go!
m: yes ma'am
i know
you've taught me well
J: love ya lots too :D
toodles!
m: hehe :)
byeeee
J: I know. I'm amazing that way
m: have a good night
haha
:)
J: Jack of all trades and whatnot
m: man i miss having you around.
^^
J: I'll catch you online some other time
We'll catch up!
m: you better!
ok ok
late
gtg
J: Yeah yeah, so many accusations
bye!

a: give my love to the lover =p
b: wait, are you talking about ~?
a: who else?
a: i'm not amourous like her
a: ...
b: hahahaha
b: I think we're all lovers
a: DOH.
a: but i dont' think i've slept with you
a: we have a common lover =p
b: ohhh, true
b: we need to get on that
a: ...

(people involved in this conversation, you know who you are.... ><)

I love my sister ^^

bluishjeliblob: =D
bluishjeliblob: *hug*
Rosanna: AHHH
Rosanna: YOU'RE ON
Rosanna: *SQUEAL*
Rosanna: *SQUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAL*
bluishjeliblob: i was thinking the same thing
Rosanna: =D
Rosanna: xD
Rosanna: hahaha
bluishjeliblob: but i'm too old to say that kind of thing anymore =p
Rosanna: awww
Rosanna: my sister finally grew up
bluishjeliblob: what?!?!?!
Rosanna: hahaha
Rosanna: =P
bluishjeliblob: you mean i wasn't grown up before
bluishjeliblob: ><
Rosanna: yup
bluishjeliblob: hrumph
Rosanna: hehee
Rosanna: xPPP

I miss her. I want her back :(

The Great Wall
So, I literally just got back from hiking/camping on the Great Wall of China. We started from 司馬台（Simatai）and climbed (yes, climbed) our way to 金山岭（Jinshanling). It was about 140 km and took less than five hours to get from one end to the other. Needless to say the hike was tiring, but the view was beautiful. We descended from the Wall, had dinner, and went back up to spend the night on the Great Wall in sleeping bags. It was pretty chilly, but the bags kept us pretty warm. At about four in the morning photographers were already heading up to one of the towers -- 小金山(Xiaojinshan) I believe -- to get in place to take pictures of the sunrise. Light sleeper that I am, I was up by about five with all the photographers crunching their way across the ground and shining their flashlights in our faces. So I got to see the sunrise, although the view from our position was somewhat obscured by another section of the Wall (probably the one all the photographers went to). Nonetheless we stared and took pictures left and right. After going back down for breakfast, some of us went back up again for yoga with an instructor. It hurt. Half of us fell asleep during part of it, since we were supposed lie down, close our eyes, and "relax." That's pretty much it in a nutshell. If you want to know more, you can ask me about it when I'm less exhausted and more coherent. Though, I have a feeling this is one of those things that just escapes description.

~ time to write my weekly essay for tomorrow -_-

Blogger finally WORKS!
and my sister said she had a dream about me so ^^
Just took our third weekly test, and we're going hiking/camping on the Great Wall tomorrow!
I'm very tired, and my body is falling apart... but now that blogger works, I will try to update those who are interested in my adventures and misadventures on the other side.

Our Suffering Savior
It was late on the Thursday evening of Passover week. Jesus was with His disciples at one of His favorite retreats—the Garden of Gethsemane. In great emotional distress, He admonished the disciples to pray for strength to remain loyal to Him. He removed Himself a short distance from them and prayed, “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done” (Luke 22:42).

The “cup” from which Jesus asked to be delivered was not death. He came to die for us. I think the cup represents the frightful alienation from His Father that would lead to His cry on the cross: “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” (Matthew 27:46).

In the garden, He must have been anticipating that time when His Father would turn His back on Him. The coming of the angel assured Him that He was not alone. Yet the reality of the Father’s imminent withdrawal from Him was foremost in His thoughts. He would be taking our sin on Himself and enduring the awesome aloneness of the cross. This realization drove Jesus to pray with so much intensity that “His sweat became like great drops of blood” (Luke 22:44).

And what’s even more amazing is the truth that Jesus endured this suffering for you and me! — Herbert Vander Lugt

from "Our Daily Bread"

il pleut..

Better Days

Love is in the house...
typical conversation..

b: *poke*
p: *stab*
b: ><
b: *dies*
p: that'll teach you
b: i can't really learn if i die, now can i?
p: well you won't poke me either
p: i call that learning
b: your definition is...
b: very loose
b: =p
p: not my problem if it doesn't meet your stringent standards
p: maybe you should relax them
p: i think it's you. not me
b: whatever
b: says you
b: and your word doesn't count
p: my word counts for everything
b: .. right.
p: i'm glad you agree

Our friend: "You two get along so well."
I <3 my roommate. No, really. I do.

Remember when...

it was cold and rainy, and you lent me your jacket.
I stayed out a little too late, and you walked me home, even though you'd never met me.
you called and left a message, just to say "Happy St. Patricks' Day!"
you emailed me, after so long, to say you heard a song and thought of me.
you prayed for the A/V team, when it seemed like no one noticed.
you asked if you could pray for me, when I hadn't been asked in a long time.
I told you, and the world didn't end.
you silently cried into the back of my sweater that day.
you said I could call anytime if I needed anything... and you meant it.
you told me you accepted Christ.
I showed you the deepest, darkest thing... and you didn't run away.
we talked on the phone for hours.. and I always felt better.
you carried me on your back.
you let me in that night, set aside studying for finals, and listened instead.
reminding me of a certain bat, you showed me who I am.

you left your fingerprint on my soul?

Unable to Connect


Feeling disconnected. From the world. From friends. From God. Not quite sure why. Feel like it's my fault somehow. Like I'm not trying quite hard enough. Just like in everything else. *shrug*

to the void.. in case it's listening..
I've been feeling a bit off lately and for a while, wasn't sure why. Now I think I know: loneliness. Not your usual kind, that some quality time with friends and family will easily cure. It's hard to describe. Sure, it feels a better for a little while, but afterwards it comes back, keener, more insisent. I've also been very tired. All the time. The kind of tired that no amount of sleep seems to dispel. Hoping it all goes away. By itself. Soon. Doesn't seem likely, but I wouldn't know what else to do anyway.

"If It's Magic"

If it's magic...
Then why can't it be everlasting
Like the sun that always shines
Like the poets in this rhyme
Like the galaxies in time

If it's pleasing...
Then why can't it be never leaving
Like the day that never fails
Like on seashores there are shells
Like the time that always tells

It holds the key to every heart
Throughout the universe
It fills you up without a bite
And quenches every thirst

So...
If it's special
Then with it why aren't we as careful
As making sure we dress in style
Posing pictures with a smile
Keeping danger from a child

It holds the key to every heart
Throughout the universe
It fills you up without a bite
And quenches every thirst

So...
If it's magic...
Why can't we make it everlasting
Like the lifetime of the sun
It will leave no heart undone
For there's enough for everyone

- Stevie Wonder